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Have I truly been cursed? Can I be able to embrace the hope that I too can own one item after another like so many others before me? That shared feeling that I'm probably not alone is around me. I'm moving through the world of lolita with a fearless approach. There is always something bigger and better, the grass is always greener on the other side and suddenly the world of lolita accepts me and I allow myself to be accepting.
But I have realized while I may fall from time to time, I always get back up on looking at or taking the time to study some more into building friendships with other lolitas in my community, I have love and joy...and yet, I can't seem to back away from a desire that I find on the egl sales community page. I don't hesistate to contact the seller, but when it comes down to price or size, I fall very difficulty on such tender face that I cannot afford or fit.
I think it's important to understand how the desire and addiction shapes me. This is a difficult part of me that is climbing high and even if someone close to me asked me to come down, I'd have to think about it or I stay still where I am. While I've always had a pretty positive outlook on embracing my sweet lolita side, everything about it seems to be so fluffy and soft, wrapping me in a cute dream.
When deciding to finally to purse lolita, I knew what was in store but I didn't know the extend of it. It is both a soothing and painful one, or maybe it's a deeper issue of insecurity or attachment that I want to feel with everything beautiful and curious around me. It is a decision that will feed my appettite for quite some time. Consequently I will either go broke every month or taking more and more money out of my bank to satisfy what is a addiction.
